OMG, You Did WHAT? Just Ask Sean Connery

As Ironman training intensifies, and my dog has decided his job is to wake me up every night (don’t ask), I’ve become increasing loopy. I don’t mean a little loopy, I mean scary loopy. Sleep deprivation can do some seriously gnarly things to your mind.

Just in case you need a good laugh, I thought I’d share the last few days with you. I’m still chuckling at my ridiculousness.

Last Thursday, after another sleepless night, I went to the pool to do my swim workout. I wanted to be sure to finish in time for a Pilates class afterward, so I quickly threw my stuff in a locker and jumped in the pool. Even though I’m starting to feel stronger in the water, I was completely whooped at the end.

I knew I’d cut it a little short, so I rushed to my usual locker area to change, only to discover my lock wouldn’t open. Argh. I tried it again. Still no luck. Then while a lady was yammering to me, I tried it again and again. Something obviously had broken on my lock.

Having no other choice, I traipsed to the front desk wrapped in my towel to ask if I could borrow lock cutters. They won’t let members cut off locks though, so they had to round a female director to go into the women’s locker room to do it for me. This entailed several loudspeaker announcements, all the while I’m standing dripping, feeling ridiculous–chitchatting with the young boys working at the desk.

“It’s so weird my lock just got funky after all these years. Guess things just wear out sometimes…yadda yadda.”

Eventually, an older woman who looked like a Sherman Tank marched out from her office holding lock cutters, which looked like giant pliers for dinosaur dentistry.

boltcutters

She looked a tad annoyed, but humored me. Then she grilled me…”Are you sure you haven’t forgotten the combination?”

“No, I’ve had this lock forever. I could recite the combo in my sleep.” Bubble out of head {that is if I ever got any damn sleep}.

“I’ll try it first before we cut it,” she ordered. I gave her the combo, then she said, “And you’re sure it’s yours, right?”

“Yes, of course. It’s red. Nobody else has red locks.”

“While I try the combination why don’t you look around the locker room just to double-check.”

“Good idea,” I said to humor her, even though I was getting irritated because I was late for my class. “I hope I’m wrong,” I mumbled, “I’d be thrilled.”

You know exactly where this is going, readers…

“DON’T CUT IT!” I yelled cross the locker room.

Yep, as I turned the corner, there gleaming in front of my eyes was another red lock.

You can imagine the smirk on Sherman Tank’s face. I thanked her profusely, then we had a good laugh before I took my red face to Pilates and slunk to the back row. All I could think about as I was doing my 100s and bridges is what the person with the other red lock would have said or done when she returned to her locker and found her lock cut off. OMG.

You think that was bad…here’s the topper…
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